I don't enjoy life (but i'm not emo)

Life is mean
Life is cruel
Life should go rot in a ditch and die
Life is a F------ in school
Life is ( X . X )

Alright
so yeah i don't like life.
I'm doing not so great now in school.
Like legit.
I'm such a fail!

I have to go study so ill write more after i study (which will be never)

Angry Angry ANGRY

my two friends r going out

and no one told me
but they told everyone else
except me

my best friend here

knew for TWO WEEKS

and didnt tell me

her excuse was

"im not allowed to tell anyone"

wen she was told by someone else

psh

so i got mad

my dad took their side
i punched my punching bag as hard as i could for 5 minutes straight

still pissed
still rlly pissed
went on a cursing rant for 10 minutes while my parents were out @ Tysons 2
Oh and i broke a window on wednesday w/ a ball :)
wish i could do that now...would help my stress

NEW NEWS :D

So let's see
I GOT A HUNDRED ON CHEMISTRY QUIZZZZ! FIRST EVERRRR it's like...AMAZING :D
Uhhhhh what else....oh i played okay tennis today w/ Gene....and uhhhh OMG THE MOVIE THE LAST AIRBENDER SUCKS ASSSSSSS :( THEY RUINED A GOOD TV SHOW >:O
Uhhhh I got awesome leather gloves
and i bought chirstmas presents
and Amy judd found this cute pikachu thing :D http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7n7ydgUP51qbe7n1o1_400.gif

ITS SO CUTE! It's like what Cynthia Tong and Jenny Wang do to my face...i have become their "pikachu".

Uhhhhhhhh i got nothing else to sayyyy :D
for now anywayssssss :D
life is pretty good right now
DID I MENTION HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?????????? :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Life Sucks Right Now

So...like school sucks
I don't know but homework and tests just kill me.
Actually I'd rather have homework then tests.
Tests make me just fail a class
-.-'
ill write more when im not studying

Obsession x46056150621572190521

OKAYYYYYY
SO FROM THE TITLE YOU MUST KNOW THIS WILL BE ABOUT OBSESSION, no not the movie, no not about **** and his obsession about ***** ITS ABOUT A STORYYYYY....
ITS SO FREAKING GOOD AND I SWEAR IM GONNA GET LIKE...IM LIKE...ITS LIKE MY DRUGGGGGGGGG (sorry Ke$ha but love is not my drug). It's on quizilla.com and its by this girl named XxSkater2Girl16xX
she's like REALLY GOOD. read any of her stories, they kick ass. I wish i could right like that....like OMG. The story that i am sooooooo OBSESSED with is called

A Proscriptive Relationship!

it is the dope! lol i have no idea why i said that. ITS SO GOOD! GAHHHHHHHHH i was freaking out to Alex today and I most defiantly weirded him out, although that's not really a surprise since you know...it's me. BUT OMG YOU HAVE TO READ THAT STORYYYYYYYYYY GAHHHH! *fan girl scream*

DEEP BREATH
IN
OUT
IN
OUT
IN
OUT
IN
OUT
IN
OUT
IN
OUT

okay now that that is overrrrrr
I'm GOING TO SEE THE NEW HARRY POTTER THIS WEEKENDDDD! I mean i prefer the books over the movies but i have to admit im PUMPED. not enough to wear anything stupid, but im defiantly going to have fun. I'm going with Margaret Park, MAYBE Joe Wethern, MAYBE Sarah Kim, and probably Daniel Nguyen. Although...I think Margaret hates him O.O oh well. xD

Grades: Well eh, i'm doing okay...i guess nothing really new

Hm let's see. Well since reading A Proscriptive Relationship! I have had this huge urge to write. So I'm going to start writing again...I've read my stories and they have some of the normal patterns so i'm going do some new things i haven't tried. You know....boarding school, fights, abroad to places, maybe ill even do a mystery! but im getting ahead of myself, and i should really start with just finishing a story before thinking of new ones.
So for the one i posted i've decided to not post anymore just because i'm too lazy but i have a basic idea.
So Elvire is a street fighter
but her sister Iris gets caught doing something bad (idk what yet)
and Iris going to be sent to a boarding school for troubled kids (not mentally disabled, just like....troubled) however Elvire decides that her family needs Iris more then her so El goes in place of her sister. At first she tries to act all innocent like Iris normally is, but ends up just getting bullied by people. Soon El can't handle it and one day she finally cracks and becomes the girl she really is. :D However instead of making it any better it just becomes. . . weirder. the leader of the bullies turns out to be really nice, his followers turn out to be butterfly-chasing, book-reading, homework-doing guys, AKA normal (except for the butterfly-chasing). El thinks she's starting to fit in when suddenly Hayden, a "friend" from the past is sent to the school for being caught fighting. He almost blows her cover, but doesnt because he black-mails her into becoming part of his in school, private gang.
That's all I've got for now....but I'll see what I come up with. Who knows i'll probably change some things around. If anyone reads this, give me some input?

THE DRAMA OF HIGHSCHOOL

High school is drama land. You know like candy land, with the colorful pictures and the pretty characters? Yeah well High school is sorta like that. Instead of the colorful pictures we've got gossip, lies, truth, and then instead of pretty characters we've got the popular people, the bitches, the emos, the Asians, the smart ones, and then the one thing that candy land doesn't have...is death. No one dies in candy land. In fact, everyone gets to the end, not everyone in high school get to the end. And it can all start with one thing, in candy land it starts with a dice, in high school it starts with drama. One truth spreads, becomes more then truth, becomes a lie, sides are chosen, people are hurt. Sounds dramatic right? That's what high school is.
However, no matter how much the people are being annoying, and are bitching and moaning to you. YOu have no right to say that your life truly sucks. Maybe for some people, but my friends, I know your life does not suck as much as some people. Mexican children dying because of a drug war in Mexico would kill to have your life. Kids in Africa would walk over fire to eat three (maybe more) meals a day like you. Someone with cancer would give everything up just to be healthy again. But you have no right to say you want to kill yourself just because people are saying you are head-over-heels for a girl and teasing you. It's one thing for random people to tease you, but your friends teasing you? That's ridiculous. It's a friend's job to tease you! And if you don't like it, don't ignore them, talk to them. Don't use other people to talk to them, YOU talk to them. I'm sick of people ignoring me and not talking to me. I know i do it too. And i'm saying it right now. I'm going to stop.

The Everlasting Crap Loads of Homework

So much homework and so little time!
So many tests to study for and so little time!
So little time for anything! D: However, instead of using
my time for "educational purposes" i have used part of my
time to write a new story! And I'm going to post it here!
:D Please don't expect me to finish it. So don't get cha hopes up!

Shakespeare once said in one of his plays: “Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.”
I always disagreed with this, love can’t comfort you. He breaks your heart and leaves you, how does that comfort you? Maybe it’s the rain that comforts you, after all, you can cry in the rain and no one knows you’re actually crying. That’s comforting right?

CHAPTER ONE

“Elvire, wake up! We’re going to visit mom and dad today!” I heard my annoying twin sister Iris shout from downstairs. I grunted as I covered my head with a pillow and catch a few more seconds of sleep before Iris stomped up the wooden stairs and into my attic bedroom, which didn’t take too long. “GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP!” She screamed at me as she yanked my blankets off. I cried out as the cool August air bit my arms.
“I was getting up-!” I complained as I snatched the blankets from her.

“Liar.”
“Whatever!”
“Just hurry up and get dressed, we’re late enough as it is!” Iris turned away. I stuck my tongue out at her descending figure. “And don’t stick your tongue out at me!” She called out.
“I wasn’t!” I yelled back at her. I got off the bed and slowly trudged across my colorless rug towards my makeshift closet, which was really just boxes labeled, ‘shirts’, ‘pants’, ‘socks’, ‘under garment-y stuff’ and ‘what ever else I have’. I got down on my knees and rummaged through the boxes until I found an outfit. Jeans, black tank top and a red checkered flannel shirt, my typical outfit, except today I decided that I was going to wear my blonde, almost white hair down, surprise surprise. I sighed and looked out my square 4 by 4 window. Light frost coated the outside but I could still see what a dreary and cold day today was going to be. Stupid Washington weather. I changed quickly and walked downstairs to our kitchen.
“What’s for breakfast?” I asked Danny, my older brother.
“What do we always have Elvire?” He asked me sarcastically.
“Oh goody, oatmeal…again.” I made a face as I sat down. Danny laughed and spooned me a portion of grey, taste-less goop. I barely ate one bite when Iris rushed by me.
“Elvire! Let’s go! Danny, can you get Steven, Alora, Jeannie and Farith up? They won’t listen to me. Elvire and I will meet you there.”
“But…my food.” I looked at my cold plate of disgusting-ness. “Actually let’s go.” I winked at Danny as I followed Iris out the broken down door. On my way out I grabbed a pair of black converses and a plain black sweatshirt. I got into the old, grey, beat-up BMW, that had original belonged to dad, as Iris got into the drivers seat. She slammed the door hard and had to jab the key several times for it to stick in the key holder. I watched her struggle to turn the ignition as I tied my shoes. “Need help?” I asked her.

“Yeah…can you turn this?” She asked, obviously frustrated. I grabbed the key and turned it. It easily turned; Iris stared disbelievingly at it as I sat back in my seat. “Thanks…” She smiled. I shrugged and put my hoodie on. There was an awkward silence as she drove to the grocery store. Iris got out, but left the keys in the car so that it would stay warm inside. She hustled inside and a few minutes later came out with a bundle of red roses. She carefully handed me the flowers as she got back in and started to drive. There was yet another awkward silence as she drove towards the Black Hill Cemetery. As we got out I noticed dark rain clouds gathering above us.
“Let’s hurry…it’s going to rain soon.” Iris said as she scurried towards two tombstones that were identical. I walked slowly, avoiding the large areas in front of the tombstones, and markers. Don’t want to be stepping on dead bodies… I finally reached the two tombstones that my sister was kneeling at. They read, “Sarah D. Mane 1967-2010” and “Benjamin F. Mane 1963-2010”. I too kneeled down and gently placed the bundle of roses in between the stones. Iris started to cry just as Danny and our four younger siblings joined us. Danny hugged Iris as he sadly looked down. The ten year old twin boys Steven and Farith stared blankly at the roses, but seven year old Alora and five year old Jeannie were already starting to cry. I sat back on my butt and stared at the tombstones. Memories of my parents raced through my mind, Halloween, Christmas, thanksgiving, birthdays, I felt sadness swelling in me. Thankfully Danny said he was going to leave, he never stayed long when we visited mom and dad. He placed an arm around Iris and somehow managed to gather Steven, Farith, Alora and Jeannie. He looked at me and asked if I was going to leave.

“No, not yet. I’m going to stay a little longer.” I said.
“Just don’t get sick.” He looked up at the sky.
“I won’t.” I nodded and smiled slightly. I watched Danny walk away, with a limp Iris leaning on him, two hyper kids and two who were still crying. I shivered as I realized how dark the sky was. The wind howled and I crossed my arms to keep some body heat. It started to rain lightly, plit plat, plit plat, plit plat. The sound echoed in my ears as I stood up. I watched the petals flatten themselves against each other. I looked up at the sky, the rain falling against my face. Silently I walked away, from the memories, from the pain, from my parents.

Now that chapter one is up. I can talk about EVERYTHING else. Woot exciting. So Sean thinks our little asian group hates him, and uhhhh let's see. Oh and I haven't talked to Michael Cronk in a long time (known to some as Tom Cruise). Nor have I talked to Joe in a while and Tiara and well actually I have talked to Izy, Sandra, Jilly and Juliann recently. Even Connor, amazingly. However, I haven't talked to Nick Storey, or Tate Salazar, or Matt Peng, or Matt Teng, or Amy DeNinno or really....anyone, outside of my little asian group in San Diego. I talked to Laura and Taylor recently which is good. Sophmore year is so frustrating, I have to sacrifice so much :/
Currently listening to the song : Scars by Papa Roach
Very good song...very good song....I recommend it! yup kay. That's all i've got for now. Nothing exciting...oh well! Maybe I write more later...?

Sleeping is THE Foundation of Life

For me, sleep is bliss, it's the little peace of heaven that fell from the sky. It's the bright orange life perserver floating towards me in a sea of homework, enemeies, friends, family, grades, tennis, eating, cooking, homework and studying. :) Sleep is the best! Haha, now that my rant on sleep is over, i'm going toooo talk about manga!

The current manga that i read is called Deadman Wonderland, Nononono, New Prince of Tennis, Mixed Vegetable, 1/2 Prince, Hatsukoi Lunch Box, and Watashi ni xx Shinasai.
The first one is like an adventure/horror sort of thing, it's really good. BUT SHIRO FREAKING KILLED AZUMI!!!! :((( NOOOOOO! BAD SHIRO! BAD BAD BAD BAD SHIRO! AND POOR GANTA, HE CONFESSES HIS LOVE FOR SHIRO AND THEN SHE GOES AND KILLS HIS BEST FRIEND!!!! WTFFFFFF!?!?!?!??!?!?!
The second and third one is a sports manga. Nononono is a ski-jumping one, it's really entertaining, and i really like it. New Prince of Tennis is the sequel to Prince of Tennis, which is about obviously tennis. However Tezuka-kun left and IM so annoyed! HE BEAT THAT GUY! WHY DID HE LEAVE!?!?!!???! AND WHEN IS RYOMA GONNA APPEAR IN THE MATCHESSSSSSSSSS????????????????????? ARG!
The fourth and sixth one are both food related. Hatsukoi is about this girl and she (along with her guy friend) makes bento's to help people confess to the one they like. It's really good and has cute ideas as well as the recipes attached. However I like Mixed Vegetable better only because it's about pasteries and sushi! :DDD WHO DOESN'T LIKE PASTERIES!?!?!??!! SO YUMMY LOOKINGGGGGGG!
The fifth one is like fantasy/adventure. 1/2 Prince is really REALLY good. I can't express it enough, the characters are so cool! And it would be SO awesome if it was REAL! JEALOUS! xDDDD LOVE TRIANGE! PRINCE, PICK GUI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDD
The last and final one is probably the "girliest" one. It's about this girl who is a writer. And she falls in love with this guy, however it's becoming more. . . romantic then i perfer but whatevr. The art is really good and the story line is....not bad. Haha :)

Now to grades, I just like...idk if i failed my math test but i feel like i did not so good on it :( I'm really worried about it. :/ Math is evil enough, but to FAIL math would just....kill me off! JKJK but math is really evil! D:< Chemistry, which also uses math is also evil because....chemistry is just like math equations used in science! BLECH! :( For my english essay (it has two grades, a mechanics grade and a analytical grade) it was okay. I guess if you average the whole thing it's like a C+ or B-? I'm not sure but it's not THE WORST thing I've ever gotten....yet anyway. Hopefully it won't go down any. :/

Sean is still OBSESSED with Jenny, which is really, REALLY strange. And for some reason he's getting a lot more PMS-y. Or in other words, he's becoming more like a girl then he was before. O.O (btw Sean if ur reading this....its true and you know it. So get over it) But also for some reason I'm getting pissed off at Timichi a lot. He keeps complaining about how sucky his life is. His life isn't the only one! He should just get over it and continue on, and he needs to use the dictionary more often, because I do not want to be the one who has to explain things like "Bipolar" to him. So yeah.

The Sad Truths of Reality

Life is full of truth, some of it is happy, some of it silly and a lot of it is just plain ol' painful. Like the truth that i'm moving back to California, it may be sad or a good thing (depending on the people) but it's true. It's the truth, and there is nothing that can change it.
From this observation there are two kinds of people, Liars and Honest people. And then there is the outliers, such as the people who deny the truth even though they know it's true.For example Teddy Liao and Cynthia Tong, who both like each other yet they both won't admit it. And Sean Yang who says he's not "obsessed" with Jenny yet he is. He hugs her backpack and wears her necklace and her key holder-thing. Teetering on obsession don't you think? I'm not saying that obsession isn't a bad...okay i'm lying. Obsession is scary and very awkward, I would know *cough Derek cough*.
Moving on toooo....."happier" topics. GRADES! (HA not really happier, my bad). I'm not sure whether to be angry, or sad. My grades have stooped. It went from all A's in elementary school (haha hard not to) then to mostly A's and some B's and then it went to all B's and then finally it went to a combo of A's, B's and C's. Now, good thing is A's appeared in the "equation" but those C'S!!!!! I'm starting to see more of those C's! :( It's a terrible, terrible feeling. And by trying more, means limiting me to SEVERAL enjoyable things, e.g. computer, phone, TV, movies, friends and pretty much anything FUN. It's so. . . difficult.
LIke I told Connor Mann,
"Physically i'm okay. Tennis is still taking up my life but i might take a break soon.........
Socially I'm great! :D I have so many new friends and I hang out with them so much! :D I'm really happy about that...i'm so popular here (JK No not really)"

This is my life in a nutshell, as of this moment

The most recent stuff

Wow, it's been like...what almost year since I last wrote? Amazing how time flies. In case you (whoever YOU are) are wondering, Virginia has gotten a whole heck of a lot better. I've got some pretty amazing friends, and i actually think i have about 5x more best friends here then i do back in California. It makes me sad thinking about leaving them behind. However I'm still excited to go back, just not as enthusiastic as i was before.
I just had a halloween party on Saturday, and if i may say so myself, it was pretty good. Ha well minus the horror movies and the ever so obnoxious Daniel, and Joe. But it was really fun, I was really happy everyone had a great time and sadly, i have WAY too many open cans of beans then i should have *cough Sarah Kim cough*. I was referee and i looked pretty good, well for a girl who's too violent for her own good.
I have short hair now, and it's annoying (because more zits) but it's nice too, its out of my face and i dont have to carry around a hair tie. Let's see uhhh oh, well now because of tennis and just everything piling on, my body has become a death trap. I swear any moment one of my arms or legs are gonna break off and i'm gonna be crippled for tennis season. My body is wearing down, i sound like an old maid, but it's true. My arms and legs are getting...i don't know, they feel so heavy sometime. And my tennis, although improving sometimes, hasn't really impressed me. I don't know if i'm being a harsh critic or maybe, tennis was cut out for me. I feel school's stress pressing me down and for the first time in a long time i feel like tennis isn't going to help me with anything. Maybe keep me fit? I feel so negative...I'M GETTING TIMOTHY-PHAM-SYNDROME (my friend in Virginia, Tim, who is usually very happy and curious and just hyper has been really depressed lately. And i'm starting to feel like it too.)
I had my homecoming, it was fun. I had invited Joe but he couldn't come. Too bad. It was really fun, i danced and it was REALLY hot in that place. Egh...but the music was weird-!! I did NOT like the DJ, he was just....O.O haha. But dancing with Amy Judd was fun, we were like the only girls in our little asian group who were dancing, and Alex Zhao was the only boy. Haha it was really actually very memorable. I'm gonna miss VA.

Experiment

So, it's been snowing for a while, I haven't had school in several days.
I'm doing an experiment.
How long I can go without acting like myself and no one noticing.

How I act:
Loud
Annoying
Smiley
Interested
Talkative

^^^^^
that is how i'm not going to act until someone notices.
Let's see how long this will last...

~Shiro

Blah!

Have you noticed that when I wrote on my blog I'm either extremely happy, depressed OR just like....bored?
I think i'm going to name myself for all my different moods....
Shiro-Bored
Nana-Happy
Nint-Depressed
So whenever I finish i'll write one of those three names down! Okay!?

You know what i've noticed, a lot of Virginia friends are sorta un-reliable.

Like, Jiaxi and Mel....they both are sorta unreliable when it comes to their parents.

Hm

I was reading manga, its a really cute one, called Anti-Gravity Boy

Or something like that!

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New Years Resolution (several days late)

1. Be honest, even if its painful
2. Try to get everyone who hates me to "un-hate" me
3. Get "skinnier" *glare at parents*
4. Stop being so damn emotional
5. Be happy
6. Stop muttering to myself *mutter this will be hard*
7. Get really good at tennis (even better than before)


Ehhh..there are probably more, but im too lazy to think... xD
OOH I KNOW
8. GET ALL A's BY THE END OF SCHOOL!

Seems like I always write in here when I'm depressed. Hmm, that's weird.
I'm still depressed over the same things...I still feel like I'm being replaced. I was talking with Nolan today. He was depressed, i was trying to cheer him up. He angered his friends and broke the bro's before hoe's law. So he was all sad...and I tried to cheer him up. And asked Izy to help cheer him up. So she said well tell him a perverted joke. But since I didnt know any she was like, well...Sina did tell me one. That just sparked the 'Nadia-get-depressed' flame. so in the end, i failed to cheer Nolan up, but instead probably made him feel worse, and make myself depressed. Sorry Nol Nol. I'm probably over-reacting but, hey...I'm a girl.

One crappy day

I'm such a stupid, retarded, asshole. No, i'm worse than an asshole, i'm like a f***ing b*tch! I know, that Izy and Sandra and everyone is trying to assure me that I'm not being replaced. But its still this feeling of being dragged farther and farther away from all my friends in San Diego, I used to call them (or they call me) everyday, now...I barely pick up the phone because I know its not them. I'm so dumb aren't I? I bet Ryan or Nolan don't get all fussy about this stupid, thing, but naturally I do. So what happened, Sandra's status on facebook, you know when you comment and then you get little memos saying whenever someone else comments on it. Yeah, well so Izy, Sandra and Sina were having this full on conversation about going to Korea and stalking famous Korean singers. And they know I'm there because I commented, and Sandra acknowledged me but, it was like...like....i wasn't supposed to be there, reading their comments. It's a painful feeling.
Sandra is trying to cheer me up...its not really working...
Its funny, when I was talking to Izy...I was telling her how she should stop with the "what if's" and to just ask the person out...while I on the other hand, hasn't even talked to the guy I like in over 5 months.
I hurt...in my chest...my heart. When I talk to Izy, whenever she leaves, she always say "abayo" "oyasumi" and something like "daisuki". But today, after I yelled at her..do you know what she said....she said "see ya". That hurts, I know she didn't do it on purpose...she probably did it without thinking...it's just that.............i can't help it. *sigh* im a dumbass