Changes, Changing and The Changed

Change, its a strange thing. You can change the way you look, and become from a brunette to a blonde. From a blue eyed to a brown eyed.
You can change the way you dress, the way you talk, and walk and dance. You can become a totally different person.
All it takes is a matter of time, courage and challenge. It sounds like an advertisment. But that's what change is. You change because of someone or something. You know what I mean, you start dressing in short skirts and jersey because some guy you like likes girls who wear that. Or a girl starts disregarding her friends because she wants to be popular.
Or change can be the subtle, slow strange thing that happens to you. And before you know it. You're different. You're still you, just a different one. Ugh, i hate writing this, but puberty (blech i hate the word) is a change. Or when you change schools, you changes friends. Friends are key, if you become friends with people you shouldn't...friends change who you are. What you do, what you wear. And oh my god, i'm becoming a fortune cookie! x.x
So, news...Taylor apparently is different. I don't know, i wouldn't know. But i'm worried. Everyone is changing on me. TT_TT thats it.

Miss. Invisible (the song by Marie Digby or something like that)

Currently in Nadia's World
The AIM chat...isn't going as planned. I realized how much this hurts more then normal. Probably because Jilly is being stubborn and isn't really getting it.
Oh...NOW she gets it. wtf...oooh did u know that ftw is the reciprocal of wtf. Ahaha....well I'm sorta depressed. GAH im turning in Derek. -.-' That's a suckish feeling.
So my problem w/ Jilly was: she never answers her phone when i call, and she never answers my emails. So it's like she's distant...and then she goes and emails everyone how SHES feeling distant. It's kind of like....'and what about me?' sort of thing. OH well...she gets it. It's sort of like how Taylor (cottle) feels. Nolan is like that too. O.O I just realized...jilly thinks she's being selfish by not realizing how ppl feel. NOLAN IS EITHER! HA! I have a PERFECT refutting thing a ma jigger! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Turkey day was ok...i made a profit of $25! YAY!!!!

FOOD DAY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!

So...guess what. I'm sorta friends w/ this guy named Clay. He's SUPER FUN TO ANNOY! He's like...like....hard to describe. But he's a nice guy....sorta. =.=' Did I tell u that yesterday I talked to Ryan (yes Ryan Lee) in facebook. DID YOU KNOW IN NEW JERSEY THEY GO TO SCHOOL AT 8?!?!?! EIGHTTTTTTT! That's soo not fair. Hmph....Uhh....nothing exciting...Grandma's here! :]

Heartbroken

Have you ever been hurt by someone you considered a friend? And you didn't know if they are joking or not? Do you remember when the pain sort of terrorized your heart. Pulling it this way and that...Yeah, I've been hurt a lot of times like that. And then there are the times when you like someone, and they bluntly reject you, in front of you, in front of your friends and in front of THEIR friends. You can't run, because that makes you seem like a coward, but if you stay they ask questions. Either way you know. You've been turned down. I've been hurt like that.

But let's not talk about how I've been hurt.

Let's talk about what I do that makes me get hurt. Okay, so apparently, I ask really frusteratingly annoying questions. I also "stalk" people (I'm just super good at gathering information....spies aren't called stalkers, but they gather information). I also annoy them (i admit i do do this, but that's because they tease me back!) I might have missed something, but that's the general idea. Oh and apparently somewhat violent...which I am.

Now let's talk about my day

It's good, sorta boring. Thanksgiving is coming up. Grandma's coming tomorrow. i only get two lousy, stinkin' days off while the Scripps people get a whole freakin' week off. So I am mad at them. Sorta....a bit. Not really. DId you know I am not obsessed w/ the band McFly. Well, no...but I like their songs! :]

Future advice to anyone who cares...don't get your hopes up for something that isn't worth crashing for. And guys....don't lead girls on, even if you don't know it. Try a little less to flirt...because the slightlest movement could cause a girl to fall head over heels and then realize several months later that she can't forget you. And she's clinging on to the fragil peices of happiness from the memories you shared together.

Did I mention that I'm homesick? And Nolan ( I don't even like him...) just hurt me bad. Im sorta depressed. OH WELL!! No one cares about him!!!!!!!!!!!! xP Except maybe his girlfriend(s)

Test, test, test week

Lots of test, today was Science test and math test. Tuesday was history test. Tomorrow is math test. BLECH. Tyler, this one kid im my class reminds me of Tay Tay blue jay. Not because he's tall, he doesn't even LOOK like Tay Tay. He acts like him though. Really nice, and althetic and stuffies. And Jacqueline and Sammy thought Alexander was my boyfriend =.=' I don't have a boyfriend, 1. I don't like anyone here (not even Ryan....) and 2. no one would date me! So yuppp!

Fading away, no one would notice. I'm only a memory

You tell me to think happy thoughts. Of rainbows and unicorns. But it's hard to think that when you're the reason I'm sad.
Sandra's new status message - I would notice if you faded away, because I would fade away with you too, and maybe then they'll notice how oblivious and wrong they were. You are not just a memory, you are mah fwend :D
For some reason, just talking w/ everyone made me feel really sad its like im not part of their life anymore and no matter how much i call it wont matter and i cant b there wen my friends need me it makes me feel like a bad friend and like im worthless i cant think straight but its hurting and im thinking that if i stopped calling/texting/fb-ing them then they would notice sure maybe some but like laura or izy they wouldnt notice they only call/text wen i call first Sandra: it does matter ! it matters to me :D me: thanks but no offense, i want more friends to care too but it doesnt seem like anyone does which is probably true (except for Sandra) and wen something sad happens to my friends i want to be ther to be able to hug them and comforthem but i cant oh wow im talking about nothing im done now its fine thanks
Sandra: well, part of the reason is that they never pick up their fones!!! D:< u should call moree ppl :D
me: yea12:07 AM like who?
Sandra: kyle, tayday, and matt h. seem to careee :D me: not rlly if i didnt call them they wouldnt call me
12:08 AM Sandra: but at least they talk more on da fone and actually pick up their fones -.-''
me: yeah
12:09 AM Sandra: sigh, don't worry, at least there's still me that cares :D and for the ppl that don't, then they don't deserve to b ur fwendd
12:10 AM me: crosses everyone except sandra off the people-care-about-me list Sandra: awww
12:11 AM me: oh well life goes on i dont need tons of friends Sandra: well, when u decide presents for ppl, you kno what to get for those who don't care bout u :3 (get them somethin retarded!)
12:12 AM me: i cant i still think im important to them
12:14 AM im not gonna cry because nothing happens wen i cry so ill smile :]

I don't know why! I'm just really sad right now. Well. SMILE ON! NO CRYING ALLOWED! DAMN! These stupid tears. I'm just a memory to them. THey don't care, if i faded away. The pieces of my heart, that are carving away. They're called tears. No one can pick them up alone. But no one is willing to pick them up at all. Except one. Sandra's a good friend.
Tom, I'm sorry you broke up w/ Alice. I hope everything turns out okay. I'm sorry i can't help you. But if it helps, i'm here for you

This is for Thursday Nov. 12 and Yesterday Nov. 13

Nov. 12: I talked w/ the new kid, Ryan? For a bit. Found out his name is Lee. But he looks anything BUT Asian so. It's kinda weird. Oou of three games, my team only won one game! TT_TT JUST ONE! It's so sad! I got 100% on my science quiz! YAY! ^^ And then I did really well on my French Speaking thingy with Alexander! YAY!!!! But I had to yell at Connor (he STOLE MY SILVER SHARPIE! >:( ). Then we (my history group) did our presentation. I had to yell at the class to shut up. D:< and we only got a half of it done =.=""

Then I went to tennis. It was super fun! I talked to Sara and Nikita, but since they aren't on my court I didn't talk to them much. So i ended up talking with Joe and Jay and the other guy...and yeah. I just pretty much talked to the guys on my court. And then at the end, I was trying to get in front of Jay. So we had this competition about who gets out the door faster. I won! :] I just barely cut in front of Jay! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh and I had a weird dream with Andy. I can't get him out of my mind now! It's really weird. ..............................

Nov. 13 FRIDAY THE 13. Which actually isn't that bad. Nothing bad happened, except for i did only 1/2 of my homework, and the half that I didn't do, she collected. == But other than that...nothing really bad happened. Umm, OH i did a lot of tracing. I'm super happy! Most of the stuff I traced was manga so...lol...

That's right, I traced this!

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It's been a while!

Hiya! It's been a while. Sorry, a lot of tennis and homework. Ugh, homework. I hate hate hate hate hate hate homework! TT_TT Obvioulsly I haven't been able to get on that much, so I'm sorry! LoL, there is a new kid in my PE class, his name is Ryan. He's kinda cute >///< He kinda looks like Nolan, but not....Oh well...Oh and this picture is super hot!

Ummm, yeah, I don't know what else to say! Oh! McLean beat Langley! YAY!

Halloween, and other days that wasnt recorded

Halloween was soo fun! I went to Nivetha's house, and like, 5 people not including me were there. It was fun! I'm too lazy to put details. Sorry. But we watched a scary movie and I freaked out. I hate hate hate hate hate scary movies! TT_TT and uhhhh, oh...im still trying to forget u-know-who. But its not working out. So....i dont know what to do